Dear Northside
You are doing something really, really important. I know it’s not easy. I see you with your arms overflowing, and I know you came to church already tired. Parenting is tiring. Really tiring!
I’ll watch you bounce and sway, trying to keep your baby quiet, juggling the infant car seat and the baby change bag as you find a seat. I see you wince as your child cries. I see you anxiously pull things out of your bag of tricks to try to quiet them.
And I see you with your toddler and your preschooler. I watch you cringe when your little girl asks an innocent question in a voice that might not be an inside voice, let alone a church whisper. I hear the exasperation in your voice as you beg your child to just sit, to be quiet, as you feel everyone’s eyes on you. Not everyone is looking, but I know it feels that way.
I know you’re wondering, is this worth it? Why do I bother? I know you often leave church more exhausted than fulfilled, but what you are doing is so important
When you are here, the church is filled with a joyful noise. When you are here, the body of Christ is more fully present, and we are more complete. When you are here, we are reminded that this worship thing we do isn’t only about Bible study or personal quiet contemplation, but about coming together to worship as a community where all are welcome, where we share in the Word and Sacraments. When you are here. I have hope that these pews won’t be empty in 10 years when your kids are old enough to sit quietly and behave in worship. I know that they are learning how and why we worship now, before it’s too late. They are learning that worship is important.
In the midst of the cries, whines, and giggles, in the midst of the crinkling of chip or sweet packets and the growing pile of crumbs, I see a little girl who insists on going 2 pews up to share a smile with someone she’s never met. I hear a little boy asking quite loudly why he can’t have his own cup during Communion. I watch a child excitedly colour a cross and point to the one in the front of the sanctuary. I hear the echoes of “Amens” just a few seconds after the rest of the community says it together. I watch a boy just learning to read, try to find the Bible reading for the day, and then try to sound out the words in the Bible. In all of this, I can see your children learning.
I know how hard it is to do what you’re doing, but I want you to know it matters. It matters to me. It matters to other children to know they are not alone in church. It matters to the congregation to know that families care about faith, to see young people… And even on those weeks when you can’t see the little moments, it matters to your children.
It matters that they learn that worship is what we do as a community of faith, that everyone is welcome, and that their worship matters. When we teach children that their worship matters, we teach them that they are enough right here and right now, as members of the church community. They don’t need to wait until they can believe, pray or worship in a certain way to be welcome here (I know adults who are still looking to be shown this). It matters that children learn that they are an integral part of this church today, that their prayers, their songs, and even their badly-timed (or perfectly-timed, depending on who you ask) cries and whines are a joyful noise, because it means they are present.
I know it’s hard, but thank you for what you do when you bring your children to church. Please know that your family – with all of its noise, struggle, commotion, and joy – is not simply tolerated; you are a vital part of the community gathered in worship.
Keep coming to church – every week – we love you, need you and are blessed through you. You and your children are the Church today.
God bless, Pastor Gary.